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Warmer

by Brenda Dayne on April 5, 2010

This week’s video brought to you by Tonia, who brought it to me. Be sure to check out the “making of” video, up in the corner.

I picked up my knitting again two weeks ago. Just to see how it felt. I had to hunt for a project, as I’d stashed most everything I had been working on. Just one small project bag had escaped the frenzied clear-up on the day that I removed all evidence of knitting from my line of sight. In the bag, some alpaca sock yarn, one partially completed toe of a toe-up sock, and three pattern repeats of Citron, in wool and silk yarn from my friend, Meg, of The March Hare.

I chose to work on Citron. A few stitches became a few rows; a few rows became another pattern repeat. I couldn’t knit for very long, just fifteen minutes, here and there, but it felt good to have a project in my hands again. Familiar. I also noticed that although it was nice to knit again, I met the project with a curious sort of detachment. Some nights I knit in front of the telly, and some I didn’t, and it really didn’t matter either way.

I finished Citron today, and washed and blocked it. I don’t really know how long it took to finish, but stitch by stitch it grew, and now it’s done. I’m already casting about for the next project, so nothing has changed there, and yet it all feels different somehow. The entire process feels decidedly different, somehow.

Do you remember that time five years ago when I gave up buying yarn, for a whole year, and learned in the process that yarn was just yarn, and not an item to be coveted? I came away from that little experiment changed, and though I do buy yarn still, now and again, I no longer pursue it with the same sort of blood-lust I once did. I don’t judge the people for whom yarn is thing. I just know that, for me, yarn is yarn and on its own does not make me happy.

Taking a little hiatus from knitting has been kind of like not buying yarn for year. I’m not sure what this means yet, and maybe it means nothing. I just know that the process of going through my stash today, deciding what I want to make feels different. More centered. Warmer.

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